I have very minimum standards where men are concerned. I like them smart, studious, quiet and neat. My first and last unrequited love was all that. He was my high school seatmate and my very first heartache.
It was February 14 and he gave me a bouquet of red roses, or at least I thought he did. In my excitement to receive the roses, I failed to understand the context of his act. It was only when he was asking for it back did I find out that the roses were for his former classmate in elementary whom he was still pining for. I was to look after the flowers until he can give it to her, after the bell.
That same day, we were required to make a Valentines card in our Filipino class and give it to whoever we would like to give it to. This was the card I was to receive from him while someone else received his roses. The card read:
Dear Monica,
Ikaw ang pinakamatalik kong kaibigan.
Ian
He knew I liked him a lot, everybody knew. I made my feelings public because I was young, stupid and really really shameless. He was a very private man. He was very very shy. His card was his quiet way of telling me that he did not share the same feelings for me. I should have stopped at that point, but I didn't. And so began many other Valentines day sob stories involving the same man.
On my junior prom, one of his friends tricked me into giving him my first dance. He asked me if I could help him look for our common friend, Diana, so he could have his first dance with her. The next thing I know, he was leading me to the dance floor and wouldn't take no for an answer. If you went to your first ever prom, you would understand the value of the first dance. I was pissed at his friend for what he did, I thought he spoiled the experience for me. It would take five years before I was able to realize that this was probably the kindest act a guy ever did to me...he knew Adrian (Ian) was not going to dance with me at all that night. I didn't go to my senior prom.
Adrian went to the same University and after four years, he was still my one and only. I was not a praying woman but I kneeled on one of the pews of the UP chapel and asked God to take care of him on the day he was to undergo hazing for his fraternity. It took another two years and another continent to enable me to accept that loving him was a lost cause.
It took another Ian to make me feel that loving someone does not have to be as painful nor as sad.
It was February 14 and he gave me a bouquet of red roses, or at least I thought he did. In my excitement to receive the roses, I failed to understand the context of his act. It was only when he was asking for it back did I find out that the roses were for his former classmate in elementary whom he was still pining for. I was to look after the flowers until he can give it to her, after the bell.
That same day, we were required to make a Valentines card in our Filipino class and give it to whoever we would like to give it to. This was the card I was to receive from him while someone else received his roses. The card read:
Dear Monica,
Ikaw ang pinakamatalik kong kaibigan.
Ian
He knew I liked him a lot, everybody knew. I made my feelings public because I was young, stupid and really really shameless. He was a very private man. He was very very shy. His card was his quiet way of telling me that he did not share the same feelings for me. I should have stopped at that point, but I didn't. And so began many other Valentines day sob stories involving the same man.
On my junior prom, one of his friends tricked me into giving him my first dance. He asked me if I could help him look for our common friend, Diana, so he could have his first dance with her. The next thing I know, he was leading me to the dance floor and wouldn't take no for an answer. If you went to your first ever prom, you would understand the value of the first dance. I was pissed at his friend for what he did, I thought he spoiled the experience for me. It would take five years before I was able to realize that this was probably the kindest act a guy ever did to me...he knew Adrian (Ian) was not going to dance with me at all that night. I didn't go to my senior prom.
Adrian went to the same University and after four years, he was still my one and only. I was not a praying woman but I kneeled on one of the pews of the UP chapel and asked God to take care of him on the day he was to undergo hazing for his fraternity. It took another two years and another continent to enable me to accept that loving him was a lost cause.
It took another Ian to make me feel that loving someone does not have to be as painful nor as sad.
3 comments:
jae: siyempre forever talaga ako ihauhaunt ng letter na yan! Of all naman the letters you will keep..tsk..tsk..get rid of that letter na. after all, i feigned a migraine just for you nung magdecide kang mag "damoves" dun sa one crush mo na you shouln't be proud of..hehe
i love you
kadeereeee. yah we both have our skeletons in the closet. quits hehehe.
OMG. It's like watching a movie..only that I was one of the actors. Nagulat ako dito. - Ryan Sandagon
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